GTFO

I don’t know why I have such a mental block against doing spell work on a regular basis, but it is there. Recently, I got a Message that I need to start doing it more often, as in weekly. 0 to 40, I guess.

The blocks can be all sorts of introspective writing, but for the time being I am not interesting in doing that. What I can tell you is that yesterday I planted the cuttings I’d taken of the lemon thyme I grew this year. Once they were tucked into the pot I did galdr three runes over them so that they may grow and thrive.

Today I felt overcome once again by blocks. To the point where I am starting to wonder if there’s something working against me. I didn’t have the energy to do a reading but decided to smudge the house. My plant of choice is sweetgrass, in part because of the over harvesting of sage as well as that the original populations of my area utilized the plant. Since it had been a very long time that I’d last used smoke in the house it seemed like a good move. I started in my bedroom, calling for a banishing of everything standing in my way right now, and finished with a strong “Get The Fuck Out.” The braid went through the rest of the house, and in each room I repeated the GTFO statement.

In the short time I had before I needed to leave for work today, I did feel a little more oomph to handle some of what was in front of me. The key is to see how I respond tomorrow.

Come hear me talk!

I’m so excited to tell you all about this. I’m presenting in TWO conferences coming!

First, I am slated to speak at the Pantheon Foundation’s first ever online Pagan Activism conference. While my name is not there I am slated to be part of Saturday’s panel “Care and Feeding of Pagan Activists.” The price for this conference has also dropped to $40 for the weekend, and you don’t even have to leave your house to attend!

Second, the stars have aligned for February and the planned days off already scheduled so I will be back at Pantheacon next year! My presentation will be Sunday morning and once again what I had intended to present this past con: Juggling the Gods – syncretism in theory and practice.

If there is anything you would like to see me cover in either of these workshops, leave a comment!

When the dark comes early

Last month I had a session with my nutritionist. It had been about two weeks since I got sick with a flu to knock me out fully for two days. A rare thing for me, even now. But it was taking me a while to fully recover. I was dragging and lethargic, more than what is normal in my current adrenal fatigued state.

She first told me that the flu going around last month was one which lingered for weeks. (so for any of you who got it and took a long time to recover, there’s your reason.) As such, it was not much of a surprise then that I was still feeling even more lethargic than usual.

She went a little further, and it became one of those times when I am glad my nutritionist is also a friend, an intuitive, a medium, and a co-religionist. We both have claims on us from the Aesir, so there is a common current for both of our spiritual lives. And we know each other kinda well at this point.

She opened herself up, consulted the Unseen spirits, and came back with a message.

My dark time of the year had already arrived. The autumnal equinox had hit at the start of that week, but its energy for me had come in to settle long before. On the physical side everything was alright and I did not need to change one bit of my protocol. But I was already in the dark for the winter. Her suggestions included warm foods, even wearing warm colors (for all my fiery temperament I wear a surprising amount of pastel-type clothing), keeping up with self-care, and supporting myself like I do during the winter.

It helps. Knowing it helps a lot, even if so far I have not been able to act upon this knowledge. I’m doing what I can, and especially after last week, when I had a much-needed visit from my best friend, I am working to keep from putting too much pressure on myself. It’s inevitable that we do a little less during the dark time of the year. The light has waned, the cold has settled in, and much of our energy goes into keeping warm and secure.

There are some things to be done though. So far I do not know what they are, aside from tasks I have set for myself. (ADF study and Ellen Dugan’s hearth magick class, if you want to know.) I’ve picked up some new supplies, like flying ointment from Sarah and cords from Beth. But my challenge now is to make time (yes I know, Sekhmet) to get back to my practices and figure out some things now.

And then to sit back, wrapped in a blanket and sipping hot cocoa with a cat snuggled by my side.

Returning II-V

I meant to do these as a few short posts during the summer. That never happened, but I still want to share, so enjoy it, world.

*-*-*-*-*

(mid-July)

About two weeks ago I found myself feeling fed up, yet again, with my seeming inability to complete anything. The frustration just kept building and building, until I grabbed my scarab. This would be the one I wear as a symbol of being shemsu-ankh in the House of Netjer. At the beginning of the year I bought new beads for it, because the last set of black beads were starting to fade, and I still liked this look. The scarab and beads actually sat on a lamp stand next to where I sit on a near daily basis, and I kept forgetting they were there.

Out came the beads and the hemp cord, and not long after, I had a necklace ready to wear again.

scarab!

The big laugh came when the cord snapped about two weeks after I got back from Wep Ronpet. Oh, and one of the beads went missing. It wouldn’t turn up again until a few days after I decided how I wanted to completely redo the necklace with beads from another piece.

Very funny, Dad.

*-*-*-*-*

(not long after the re-beading above)

Sometimes crap just comes along and you gotta execrate. Execrate the shit out of that crap. Execrate so hard that you rip the paper even before you start slaying the snake on it.

But damn if that doesn’t do the job just right.

*-*-*-*-*

(ongoing)

This all started in June. One night I went to Chipotle to get dinner because I just did not have the energy or interest to cook for myself. The strangest site was there for me. A tall man, shaved head, wearing a grey t-shirt aond jeans, was lounging on one of those little dirt islands in the parking lot.

“Wha? This can’t be right. Not right at all.”

A few minutes later I realized it was a rock. But it still was not.

Every now and again, for most of my life, I will see a person in my peripheral vision who disappears when I look directly. This summer, it was off the chain, how much it happened. I spent a lot of the summer lethargic and groggy, and this kind of liminal head-space seemed to be vital for me to see these things.

Who would have thought that I would gain second sight when I turned 40?

It happened last night too. Two different “people” in two different places in the parking lot as I left work.

Now the question is where to go with this…

*-*-*-*-*

(August)

just do me a favor and don’t ever fucking doubt me again

and thank you for the reminder of why I really do need to believe in you.

My first Pagan Pride Day

For living in such a small state, a lot of Pagan type events tend not to happen anywhere close or even conveniently accessible to me. This is why I rarely attend public rites (well, one big reason anyway), but this past Saturday, Siduri and I drove up to Connecticut’s Pagan Pride Day. We didn’t stay all that long, the only event either of us wanted to see was the introduction to ADF, and that ended up being in the first slot. Before they started we both perused the outdoor and indoor booths and vendors to see what was about. There was one woman with some amazing Heathen stained glass pieces, along with Kemetic, general Pagan, some Druid, etc. I may have to get in touch with her about the spear with the two ravens and valknut. The state’s ADF grove also had a booth set up with information, and were selling rune dice and ogam kits. The dice were interesting, as they had both a set of four and a set of 12 dice. The latter helps you get past any potential missing runes which might need to come up, if you only have four dice total. Pretty clever. They’d also bought some of their collective library, which showed they were a very Norse-heavy grove. We both were glad to see it, even if, again, they are WAY too far out to consider visiting for open rituals.

One of the people we’d spoken to in the booth gave the talk about the basics of ADF, and some of it I knew: clearly neopagan but with a strong encouragement toward scholarship and historical accuracy. What I did not know is how specifically non-Wiccan their ritual structure is. Not to disparage Wicca or neoWicca, but I’m the kind of person who craves rituals but has no confidence to come up with my own. Or feeling like the ones I would create would be effective. My own issue to be sure, and I have in fact written a few over the years which I liked. But one of the reasons why I keep exploring other traditions is a hunt for ritual I can use for myself.

I like the structure they use, which can be found on ADF’s site. No circle casting, instead they make offerings to any potential hostile spirits which might interfere, in order to keep them away. There’s the Celtic concept of land, sea, and sky, reflected in part by a representative Tree and Well. Not something unfamiliar to this Swede! AND, the bonus, the small rite was in honor of Idunna, with an additional invocation to Bragi.

I’m actually planning to sign up for membership in ADF for a year, because I am interested in their dedicant path. And with everything happening in the last few years, one of my current plans and goals is to come back to foundations of practice and see where that takes me.

The other, and potentially more impressive part of Pagan Pride Day was finally finding my staff.

wpid-20140906_132638.jpg

S/he needs a name, but otherwise is perfect. Ironwood, ebony stained, and set with one huge smoky quartz. I’ve had a few gems poking at my attention recently and I am sure my last Pagan Activist post didn’t hurt. One of them gems pulling me has indeed been smoky quartz. The staff’s creator had another staff, not as tall and set with many gems. I considered it for a few moments but felt like it was a stone overload and I did not need that. Besides, this one makes me feel like some witchy Barbarian.

Not only is it a damn fine time to be a polytheist, but also a damn good time to be a witch.