I cannot create time

In good news, my health is making something of a turnaround for the better this month. Yes, even with the horrid heat New England had last week which I thought would melt me. The time leading up to that was not as great, but I got a bee in my bonnet and decided that I needed to start getting my life back in some semblance of order again. All these ideas and wants in my head and they wanted to manifest. So I got sensible in writing them down and planning how to make them happy. And I got stupid and was thinking about them way too much. They were on my mind non-stop until I noted them down in some tangible form or just did them.

These thoughts may also have gotten in the way of my getting anything done in terms of my spiritual life. Instead of sitting down and counting breaths, or making formal prayers, my mind just wanted to throw lots of “shoulds” my way.

It kept going, and going.

And I took them with me into shrine loudly one morning. One of the mornings when I honor my Beloved during senut. The chatter would not settle. “I should make time for x, and y, and I should make time to do z this weekend.”

Then a thought came into my head and I wrote it down in the paper journal I keep there. I called it my “key phrase” for the time*.

Do not make time for things. Take time.

And this was a nice thought which calmed my mind some. Though as the morning went on, the depth of that statement hit me. The quality of it was not like my usual inner monologue or even what comes when my brain is calm. There was a quiet and sense of depth, and other.

Oh.

Thank you my Beloved, Lady of Years.

Whenever I get a message from the Aesir or the lwa, they are direct. Messages from Netjer unfold in my mind after they have been dropped inside. The simplest statements can turn into major revelations.

Time
Time, used under Creative Commons license

I may have a lot of skills, both mundane and magical. And I understand that time is not the linear progression we believe it to be in our culture.

That said, I cannot create time. It is impossible for me to bring about one new second which was not present before. So the idea that I should be “making time” runs right out the window. I can’t do it.

On the other hand, TAKING time. Taking implies a deliberate action. Prioritizing a section of time for one task**. That is within my ability to create, and I prefer the idea that I am making certain tasks important at different points.

Tonight you can see that I an taking the time to write up this entry and share it with you. I am also taking the time to listen to podcasts, running laundry, getting ready to redo my resume and cover letter strategy for applying for jobs, and a few other tasks during the evening.

And to make my dedication more deliberate, I’ve decided to cut back on having the TV on again and not worry as much about “keeping up” with social media.

What are you taking time for right now?

*Oh hey, keys, that boundary god imagery never goes away.
**Or two or three, to satisfy my multi-tasker/ADD-ish brain.

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4 thoughts on “I cannot create time

  1. Ah yes, that thing way in the back of the stove. I should excavate it or maybe just go from the beginning again.

  2. We are often horrible to ourselves when it comes to doing and not doing, and listing all the shoulds that we feel should (heh) be a part of our lives and our tasks. Social media is such a tricky thing to navigate, especially when one uses it for most of one’s social interactions. It’s so easy to begin again, to wanting to “keep up” and to feel badly for failing at it. I have no good solutions. I regularly get caught up in it, have to step back, do okay for a while, and then start all over again. I’m becoming more resigned to the cycle at this point and trying to get value-judgment out of the equation.

  3. True, all true. and strangely fitting today when I am avoiding as much of Twitter and FB as I can. I’d also just like to be doing better health-wise and not having another slump back as I am this weekend.

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