GTFO

I don’t know why I have such a mental block against doing spell work on a regular basis, but it is there. Recently, I got a Message that I need to start doing it more often, as in weekly. 0 to 40, I guess.

The blocks can be all sorts of introspective writing, but for the time being I am not interesting in doing that. What I can tell you is that yesterday I planted the cuttings I’d taken of the lemon thyme I grew this year. Once they were tucked into the pot I did galdr three runes over them so that they may grow and thrive.

Today I felt overcome once again by blocks. To the point where I am starting to wonder if there’s something working against me. I didn’t have the energy to do a reading but decided to smudge the house. My plant of choice is sweetgrass, in part because of the over harvesting of sage as well as that the original populations of my area utilized the plant. Since it had been a very long time that I’d last used smoke in the house it seemed like a good move. I started in my bedroom, calling for a banishing of everything standing in my way right now, and finished with a strong “Get The Fuck Out.” The braid went through the rest of the house, and in each room I repeated the GTFO statement.

In the short time I had before I needed to leave for work today, I did feel a little more oomph to handle some of what was in front of me. The key is to see how I respond tomorrow.

Returning II-V

I meant to do these as a few short posts during the summer. That never happened, but I still want to share, so enjoy it, world.

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(mid-July)

About two weeks ago I found myself feeling fed up, yet again, with my seeming inability to complete anything. The frustration just kept building and building, until I grabbed my scarab. This would be the one I wear as a symbol of being shemsu-ankh in the House of Netjer. At the beginning of the year I bought new beads for it, because the last set of black beads were starting to fade, and I still liked this look. The scarab and beads actually sat on a lamp stand next to where I sit on a near daily basis, and I kept forgetting they were there.

Out came the beads and the hemp cord, and not long after, I had a necklace ready to wear again.

The big laugh came when the cord snapped about two weeks after I got back from Wep Ronpet. Oh, and one of the beads went missing. It wouldn’t turn up again until a few days after I decided how I wanted to completely redo the necklace with beads from another piece.

Very funny, Dad.

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(not long after the re-beading above)

Sometimes crap just comes along and you gotta execrate. Execrate the shit out of that crap. Execrate so hard that you rip the paper even before you start slaying the snake on it.

But damn if that doesn’t do the job just right.

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(ongoing)

This all started in June. One night I went to Chipotle to get dinner because I just did not have the energy or interest to cook for myself. The strangest site was there for me. A tall man, shaved head, wearing a grey t-shirt aond jeans, was lounging on one of those little dirt islands in the parking lot.

“Wha? This can’t be right. Not right at all.”

A few minutes later I realized it was a rock. But it still was not.

Every now and again, for most of my life, I will see a person in my peripheral vision who disappears when I look directly. This summer, it was off the chain, how much it happened. I spent a lot of the summer lethargic and groggy, and this kind of liminal head-space seemed to be vital for me to see these things.

Who would have thought that I would gain second sight when I turned 40?

It happened last night too. Two different “people” in two different places in the parking lot as I left work.

Now the question is where to go with this…

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(August)

just do me a favor and don’t ever fucking doubt me again

and thank you for the reminder of why I really do need to believe in you.