I used to post these under a lock elsewhere on the internet. I’ve decided to try moving them over here to give you all a peek into how my personal spiritual life works.
Wepwawet said early on in the calendar month that this would be a month about purification. He was right. The past few weeks have been heavily focused on clearing out my brain, body, and psyche of all the accumulated stuff which was deemed unnecessary.
I spent a good portion of this calendar year locked in my head with worry and stress due to school. Technically I am still not done for the semester but have received grades. In hindsight, I didn’t need to worry so much. But such is the way of the world when one is something of a control freak.
It took ten days in the company of my best friend and her family, which includes four kids, to start dragging me out of my skull. We did a lot of fun stuff during the trip. There was swimming, going up and down the stairs in a sinkhole (I need more mornings to start that way), and digging up a small portion of her back yard to start a vegetable garden. NOTHING grounds you and gets you out of your head faster than using a big fork (? gardening instrument with three curved tines) to turn up packed dirt and then mixing it with manure and gardening soil. If only I could do that on a daily basis.
The image my mind produced to explain what happened and how to fix things was this: I was out of balance elementally. In general I’m very much a Fire and Air person in my actions (much will and thinking) and too easily forget about the needs of the physical (Earth) and emotional (Water). At best they are intellectual pursuits. It seems whatever grand scheme operates around me did not find this an acceptable way of living. So I’ve been trying to focus more on those neglected elements, both internally and externally. Daily walks outside are wonderful for this. So is deliberately standing outside in the rain. It used to be I would get very agitated if I got caught in the rain but as I get older, it’s not so bad. Even on a day like last Thursday, when there was a downpour, no transport options available for me BUT the bus, and it almost drove past anyway.
This week I decided to incorporate kala rite from Feri tradition into my practices, though using the method Thorn Coyle outlines in Evolutionary Witchcraft. This is a transmutation practice involving water. It’s already helping. That, and I have also returned to sitting meditation. For some reason, I will do meditation for months, then get annoyed because it feels like I have stagnated there, stop, and pick it up again and it is glorious. I wish I didn’t have the break in between. Maybe focusing more on the world outside will help that.
I’m reading bits of Ecoshamanism when I can, which is bringing back the reminders of the ties between ecology and spirituality for me and my passion for environmental action. I’ve gone back to picking up trash when I find it on my path for starters. I’ve also decided to recommit myself to a life of more voluntary simplicity. Thus far it is manifesting in me scaling back a lot on my spending outside of necessary items like food. But I also like to remind myself that the purpose life isn’t about stuff or trying to outdo the person next to you or impress random strangers. For me, it’s about experiences and enjoying what I have now. The joy of spending money and having new stuff is quite fleeting. I need more reminders that I do have enough on more levels than I know.
To sum up, this is my personal Work for now: Connecting with my body, and connecting with the outside world. And learning how to access my emotions better, and learning to let go.
All said, Change is is in the air… as it always is. Change is just showing its very overt face to me currently.