Consulting the Oracle by John William Waterhouse.
Having skipped it in 2010, I knew there was no way I would not get a reading from Elisheva a Pantheacon this year. Instead of asking a question, I said let the spirits decide what I need to know right now.
One point, on which she seemed to pause before speaking, still amazes me.
“Have you done any public speaking recently or will you be doing some soon?”
The night before Pantheacon, I spoke at Noisebridge. More to the point, I spoke well there. I related this to Elisheva, who told me that the lots were telling her that I should do more public speaking and there could be a future for me in it.
Me? For all my brashness and opinions, the quiet and still far too shy woman? You must be joking.
But the idea hasn’t left my head.
I don’t speak up very often, or at least not outside the usual interactions with people. I also avoid conflict with words because I don’t feel very sure of myself in the defense. Related to that, I’ve never spoken up for myself enough and defended MYSELF when it was needed.
I’ve been wondering if that advice to speak in public more wasn’t simply about giving presentations. Maybe it was let out the words more often. Let people hear me.
In ancient Egypt, heka was the word both for authoritative speech and magic. (And, incidentally, a deity.) When Kemetic Orthodox speak about magical matters, the word used is always heka. When my brother Nakht was telling me about it in 2007, he shared with me what he used to say to people who professed disbelief in magic. He’d point out that they were talking right in that moment. And some of those words could contain power. Hence, heka.
My Germanic ancestors had galdr, magic with the runes. Chanting the runes could be done for specific ends. Power in words. Power in sound.
My Gods are often Gods of boundaries and of magic. After this, some of my gods and spirits are ones of silence. Frigga knows all but speaks none. Seshat, along with Nebt-het and Nit, are often perceived as being very quiet. But you LISTEN when They tell you things.
I’ve become very careful with how I use words, and I know what kind of impact my words can have. Perhaps I am moving into a time when I need to release that power more. I have become more skilled in doing so with the written word. Now comes the time to emit them from my mouth.