This morning, I sat in shrine. For the first time in longer than I care to remember, I could sit quietly and not have any extraneous thoughts trying to keep control of my brain. Quiet on the inside, the sound of chirping birds coming through the open window. Oh yes, spring is here. The Earth is shaking off the winter, though to be fair, our winter was nowhere near what it had been the previous year. Thanks to the warm weather this week, trees are already budding, and the crocuses and daffodils already appearing.
Apparently writing about my frustration the other day was just the medicine my spirit needed. Sitting there quietly, I could feel Dad’s presence and hear Him say that He was please, that this is how it should be. With my eyes closed, I basked in the moment of having that large divine Dog before me. Then, as often happens when my eyes are closed, I saw something within that blackness. A ram.
He says I have a lot of work to do. I said that I was aware of this, but first need to recover from the fatigue, then start to figure out what the work is. Somehow this seemed to satisfy Him. Or perhaps it was my saying that I would give Him a stick of the good frankincense incense I bought for Him some time ago.
Perhaps the time is coming when I start to figure out what I am to do with certain Gods who are not part of my “core” group. Amun-Ra. Aset (yes finally!). Hermes. My esko.
In the meantime, I have smudged my bedroom with sweetgrass, cleaning out some more of the stagnancy which has permeated my life for some time. Amun-Ra received His incense. Candles are lit for my Rada lwa. Another candle burns on my Heathen shrine, along with a stick of vanilla incense. When I finish writing up this entry I will dive in to writing cover letters for more jobs.
All these actions are little things right now. But maybe, just maybe, if I keep doing them, they will build up. They will take the shape of something big. And just maybe, things will change for the better.