Set up the altar for my rite. Jasmine incense chosen, a glass of mead poured, my Remo drum came out of the closet.
Shade pulled, candle lit, incense lit, lights out. Polite society removed, along with all my clothing.
Lit the braid of sweetgrass, smudged my body in its smoke. Nightly purifications have become a regular thing for me but not to this level.
Pick up wand, cast a circle four times. Nothing is getting in. Give my unseen allies instructions before I go under.
Sit down. Invoke. Sip mead. Feel the current continuing to course through my body.
Pick up drum. Beat softly. Let it take me where it will.
Picking up the energies of witches of the past. Running (or is that flying) through the woods. I can see a stag, along with does. Running, moving so quickly.
Finding myself in a small clearing packed with plants. So many I can’t even begin to discern what’s before me. A green man with a beard (a green wight? Odin in disguise?) shows up as well. Picks up my thoughts about feeling like I am starting so late with herbal work.
“There’s no rush.”
Well, that is certainly a relief.
Running again. Periodically picking up my drum to add more soft rhythm to my work. Slowly working my way through the mead. Eventually lay down on my belly to experience what I am seeing while prone.
Still running wild. Pressure building between my legs. Hand-ling that for a while. Basic sex magic. Even now I can’t remember what I did. But the way I felt after, and today, tells me something worked.
Slowly come back. Feels like short minutes. I’ve been under for almost an hour. Love how that works.
Drag myself up to something of normal consciousness. Words pouring out of me to get on to the paper. Every little detail noted. Crawl into bed. Read some of Sybil Leek’s book. Takes so long to fall asleep.
Today I went on living my normal life. But it’s changed. Usually I have hated doing any sort of ritual by myself. I felt like it was always lacking something. Even when doing a ritual written up by someone else meant to be done solo, it has felt empty. Finally something has connected in my brain.
Earlier this evening I performed The Rites of Her Sacred Fires for Hekate. This is the third year I have participated, and the first time I truly felt something within the ritual.