Perseverence

I’ve been off work from the past two days because of Hurricane Sandy. That alone is amazing because my employer is one of those places which NEVER closes. And I have been enjoying the gift of this extra time. Cable went out at my house around 5pm yesterday, but the power never went. I was able to cook lunch and dinner yesterday, and make hot meals today as well. And I’ve been watching movies on both Netflix instant and Youtube, since I have the time to do so. The other thing I have done again is meditation. During last night’s meditation session (partly enhanced with Hedgecrossing oil) I got a cosmic clue by four about how much of my time is spent on doing things which should be for relaxing but have become part of my “list of things to do” instead. Today has turned into a day to physically regroup and perhaps remind myself, yet again, of what I want to do most.

The other interesting point of note for me was Set showing up while I was in shrine on Saturday. Heru-wer has become a trusted friend and Beloved in the last few years bu His brother does not show up for me. Well, until now. I’ve been feeling like no matter what I do, whenever I manage to clear up one block in the way of my life, another one will spring up in a new area. I had the feeling part of why He was there was for this very reason, and I asked for His help in breaking down these barriers in my life. The other part of why He showed up was likely the storm heading in my direction. For both protection from the storm and asking His help, I offered Him a red velvet cupcake yesterday. It seems to have gone over quite well, and was delicious.

And perhaps it is Set’s doing. Perhaps it is my reading Natural Witchery by Ellen Dugan. Perhaps it’s just being sick of living a pattern which does not benefit me. Whatever it is, I am picking up with meditation again. If it matters that much and makes such a difference, I have to do it even if it feels like I am dragging cement blocks. I’ve also decided that instead of waiting for all the right circumstances to come together, I am going to engage in spiritual work as much as I can. No matter what it is. Which is why I bought a pomegranate when I was at the market over the weekend. Tonight I figured out what will happen to it. I will make an offering of the fruit to my ancestors for Samhain (even if I do not engaged in a Celtic practice or have any Celtic ancestry). Doing something for the dead at a time when many other witches, pagans, and polytheists are doing so will be a superb way to connect with the energies and perhaps bring forth more practice.

Finally, the muse hit me before I went to bed last night and demanded I get out these words. Whenever I do poetry, I do it in the moment, it comes out fully formed, and I don’t look back. Maybe it’s a vestige of my practice of Zen Buddhism and meditation in my early 20s, maybe not. It works though. I can’t deny Her when She is so insistent either. When I do, whatever inspiration I might have shuts down from waiting and lack of use. The poem is also what inspired the title of this post. Perhaps it might also provide some inspiration or comfort to someone reading it.

As the storm rages outside
I persevere
As my focus remains on vacation
I persevere
As blocks seem to come up as soon as I think I have opened a way
I persevere
As I struggle to continue a daily practice of meditation and writing
I persevere
As I continue to try to connect with lunar energies
I persevere
As I realize how much more sleep I need and how much I avoid it
I persevere
As I continue to find my way
I persevere
As I again take another step on my path
I persevere
As I stop waiting for the right circumstances to come together and just DO what I can
I persevere

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4 comments on “Perseverence

  1. … how much of my time is spent on doing things which should be for relaxing but have become part of my “list of things to do” instead.

    Oh my various gods. I haven’t been reading your blog for very long, but that arrow struck me in the heart. Internet, thy name is obligation! (By the way, found you through Aedicula Antinoi

  2. The right circumstances NEVER come together, and when they do I’m not feeling well enough to take advantage of them, so yes, you just have to create opportunities for yourself to do things, even if everything isn’t the way you had envisioned it.

    I have the same problem with my own to-do lists, and have to find a balance between being able to rest and still accomplishing my goals; it isn’t a battle that ever ends. 🙂

  3. Set is rather brilliant at tearing things down and holding us to keep to the goals we’ve established in an effort to better ourselves and move forward. I hope your newfound efforts with Him give you the strength to push through what you feel has been holding you back!

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