Yule 2012: Night Five

As I come to these questions and continue writing, I almost feel like a broken record. Or perhaps it was just how the year was and things cast large shadows.

Hagalaz: What upheavals have I dealt with?

When I look back, there is no one big thing, a la the Tower card in the tarot. But some things happened. In addition to the fatigue, I had the upheaval of semi-expecting to move and have a new job, but that did not come to pass. Three of my coworkers left their positions (two retirements and one accepted a new job in another library), which has at least doubled my workload and given me a new boss. Good thing she and I get along well. But it does means that my workday is jammed further with Stuff to Be Done.

Nauthiz: What do I need?

Oh this is always such a tricky question. I need a roof over my head. I need clothing, especially now when it’s so bloody cold here. I need enough money and possessions to support myself. I need connection with people.
Connection, that last one is the most difficult. It’s dependent on others which means my control freak self cannot set something in place and have done with it.
What I strongly want most at this point, so that it’s coming to a need, is a life which is not just about me. I want to come to a new stage in my life. If only I could wave a wand or speak a word to make it happen.


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