Let me set the scene I have before me this morning. It’s the last morning of Pantheacon. I have slept for, maybe, five hours. Springs (formerly the Coffee Garden), the general in-hotel restaurant, is more full than you might expect for 8.40am on the last day of the con. It’s not too loud, but not at all quiet. Utensils scrape across plates and people are starting to talk about going home. I have also just spied one of the people I have met for the first time sitting down not far from me.
It ha been a good weekend for me. I have not attended nearly everything I wanted, but more than I have been able to in the last few years. I have had a glut of time with many people in my Vodou house and several opportunities for meeting new people and connecting further with some I have known for years. And so far, I have not heard of any major dust-ups. We will see what comes after the con is over.
Last night I went to my first seidh session since 2007. At first I was just going to observe with my Mami and some brothers in my house, since the males had never seen one before. Never that easy. I sat, witnessed the beginning of the ritual, sang songs (andd felt glad I remembered the words as much as I did), and felt my head opening up. It happens. Seidh will do that to you. What I did not expect was how right it felt to be there.
In the last few years I have been distancing myself from the Heathen community and Heathen practice, focusing my European “stuff” more on witchcraft done with the Aesir. And you all have seen or heard my talk about feeling like there is something missing. In fact, I had a reading yesterday in which I got to ask about that. It said that there was not anything I was actively doing in my practice right now which would forge that bridge.
Last night I figured out that the bridge I need is a rainbow. Not specifically with Heimdall, but remembering that Heathen connection. And I asked questions of Odin. It’s been a long time since I had that Eye so focused on me, and I told Him that as He looked at me from the high seat.
You get used to it.
And he gave me advice I have been trying to tell myself, as well as advice I give to anyone whose practice is not exclusive to one tradition.
Take it one thing at a time. To breathe. To find that place of calm. Do it just that one day. Then
worryfigure out the next day when it becomes today.
He also said that anything I learn, He learns. And that does make a lot of sense on many levels.
I guess I am calling myself a Heathen again, along with everything else.
Hail Odin! Thank you!