Last Friday, while taking care of my usual full moon activities, it dawned on me that maybe I should also do my monthly candle spell. I thought about it for a time, then decided not to for this month.
Why? Because I was also getting my house in order in preparation for being gone during the weekend. It did not make sense to start a candle spell when I could not burn it on continuous days.
The weekend was enough to make up for it. After three years of saying an intending to go, I went to a Vodou fet in Long Island. The house was my mambo’s Mami, Mambo Marie, who I met earlier this year at our house’s “birthday” party. It took four hours of travel all told, most of it sitting on a train, to get to her house. With one (unexpected) exception, I had not seen anyone present since this past March or earlier. I needed this time with them.
Burdens weigh heavily on my heart. Some have been spoken, some not. But when Mambo Marie asked if I was well, I answered the question in truth for the first time. No. And had a bit of a cry over everything. I got it out, then spent the rest of the afternoon talking with my friends/spiritual family. Laughs, venting, learning, and an overheated laptop battery were the order of the time. And we had to take some care, because some of the people in the room were at the end of their sevis tet and about to become hounsi. Knowing that I was present to celebrate such a major rite did much to lift my heart.
And I have decided that next year I will be taking that trip into the djevo.
The afternoon continued, some rain came, the skies got dark, I ate Thai food with two of my vodou/Kemetic siblings, got to see shrines that would make many of you drool, and headed back for the party. Tonight we would be celebrating Zaka, a lwa for farmers, peasants, and hard workers. Zaka is an old spirit to begin with, but I was not expecting to see him on the ground, hunched, barely able to walk. But it didn’t mean he was incapable of communicating, or asking for money, or demanding his food. He’s a joyous spirit and I could not help but smile when he was around.
We also had a few Gede show up, and one in particular who was a bottle of energy, zipping around the room, then wound up straddling my lap and humping his way closer. Oh yes, there were witnesses. I got humped by a Gede. That, along with Kouzinn (a female Zaka) putting her hand on my heart when she was there, and the hug from Ogou Badagris, did much to lift the burdens I had been carrying. Since I have gotten home I have done everything I could to keep them at bay. No more borrowing worry or trouble.
Even though I had woken up early that day and was tired upon arrival (and my passing out for a little while toward the end of the fet), the night ended too soon. It was time to get changed out of our blue dresses and depart. I decided to take the train home, since it was close to the time for Metro North to run again. Said my goodbyes, hugged people, declared love and how much I would miss everyone, then set out for the train. Good thing I had company for much of the ride. My body may have screamed for rest but my mind wanted to chatter and start to take in the whole night.
I slept on the long train ride and was home at mid-morning. And loved the nap I took that afternoon.
I know full well why it took me so long to make it out to Mambo Marie’s. Reasons which made sense at the time but I wished had not happened. Nothing to change the then, but the now will proceed in a new way.
Mesi everyone. And since it is Wednesday when I type this, awo!