This came to me yesterday while I was at work but I did not get to write it then. Writing it as though it were still Wednesday.
The moon comes into fullness again. Despite another round of snow, and possibly ice, I can feel the land stirring. Waiting to shake off its cold, protective blanket and burst forth with new life.
I can feel Your presence, Old Man. I’m wearing your valknut and blue stones today. Your pull calls me. Not just yours, but Everyone’s. I’m not much one for formal ritual but I crave it now. A hundred things still hang over my head and I hate that I still can’t set aside that time for any of Y/you.
I’m trying. I feel the pulls, the cycles, the tug back to practice. And this time I want to find what will stick. Not just doing a little something for a week or two and falling off the wagon because it’s not quite right. I want formality and freedom within those boundaries. To run with my fetches, to have more time getting to know those spirits who come when I smear the salve on my pulse points. To do.
It dawns on me as I put down these words that I did have a reading in December. In some ways it matches two readings I had done almost two years ago. So often when I ask an oracle about my magical practices the message is to make a choice, and then do it. And yet I continue with uncertainty of what in fact TO do. I forget that choosing to work on one thing does not mean the other will never happen. Also, one day in the not too distant future all the estate stuff will be settled. This stage won’t last forever, and I need to start acting on it.
No better day to set some of these things into motion than on a snow day.