I meant to do these as a few short posts during the summer. That never happened, but I still want to share, so enjoy it, world.
About two weeks ago I found myself feeling fed up, yet again, with my seeming inability to complete anything. The frustration just kept building and building, until I grabbed my scarab. This would be the one I wear as a symbol of being shemsu-ankh in the House of Netjer. At the beginning of the year I bought new beads for it, because the last set of black beads were starting to fade, and I still liked this look. The scarab and beads actually sat on a lamp stand next to where I sit on a near daily basis, and I kept forgetting they were there.
Out came the beads and the hemp cord, and not long after, I had a necklace ready to wear again.
The big laugh came when the cord snapped about two weeks after I got back from Wep Ronpet. Oh, and one of the beads went missing. It wouldn’t turn up again until a few days after I decided how I wanted to completely redo the necklace with beads from another piece.
Very funny, Dad.
(not long after the re-beading above)
Sometimes crap just comes along and you gotta execrate. Execrate the shit out of that crap. Execrate so hard that you rip the paper even before you start slaying the snake on it.
But damn if that doesn’t do the job just right.
This all started in June. One night I went to Chipotle to get dinner because I just did not have the energy or interest to cook for myself. The strangest site was there for me. A tall man, shaved head, wearing a grey t-shirt aond jeans, was lounging on one of those little dirt islands in the parking lot.
“Wha? This can’t be right. Not right at all.”
A few minutes later I realized it was a rock. But it still was not.
Every now and again, for most of my life, I will see a person in my peripheral vision who disappears when I look directly. This summer, it was off the chain, how much it happened. I spent a lot of the summer lethargic and groggy, and this kind of liminal head-space seemed to be vital for me to see these things.
Who would have thought that I would gain second sight when I turned 40?
It happened last night too. Two different “people” in two different places in the parking lot as I left work.
Now the question is where to go with this…
just do me a favor and don’t ever fucking doubt me again
and thank you for the reminder of why I really do need to believe in you.